Ambrose Bierce 1842-1914? "Weather" (by 1906)
Weather, n. The climate of an hour. A permanent topic of conversation among persons whom it does not interest, but who have inherited
the tendency to chatter about it from naked arboreal ancestors whom it keenly
concerned. The setting up of official weather bureaus and their maintenance
in mendacity prove that even governments are accessible to suasion by the
rude forefathers of the jungle. |
Once I dipt into the future far as human eye could see,
And I saw the Chief Forecaster, dead as any one can be –
Dead and damned and shut in Hades as a liar from his birth,
With a record of unreason seldome paralleled on earth.
While I looked he reared him solemnly, that incandescent youth,
From the coals that he'd preferred to the advantages of truth.
He cast his eyes about him and above him; then he wrote
On a slab of thin asbestos what I venture here to quote –
For I read it in the rose-light of the everlasting glow:
"Cloudy; variable winds, with local showers; cooler; snow."
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